anyone to have, anyone to hold
by RyokoSendsLove
Summary: Syd and Elena's first time. No smut.


"A-are you sure you want to... to do this?" Syd sounds so nervous, and they are acutely aware their question is about so much more than just the 'this' of what they are about to physically do.

This. Losing both their virginity to one another. (Even though the concept of virginity is a construct of the patriarchy that based a woman's worth on the presence of her hymen, but whatever in this case because first times are still important.) Having sex with each other. Having sex for the first time in the guest bedroom of a friend's home.

Elena smiles because Syd is adorable, even as a blush is coloring the other's face and spreading to sneak beneath the starched collar of their neatly pressed shirt, even as their breathing is labored from kissing Elena so deeply and Elena can feel their heartbeat absolutely thundering beneath her hands that are pressed to their vest. Especially as she sees all this, Syd is adorable. Elena falls a little bit more in love at the concern in their dioptase green eyes. That concern was for her, she knew, because they cared. Syd cared about what Elena felt, what she wanted and that made Elena feel safe, feel loved.

"Yes. I'm sure." But then another thought crossed Elena's ever running mind. What if they weren't ready? What if they were having second thoughts and wanted an out? "Are...Are you sure, Syd? We don't have to if you don't feel absolutely rea-"

Then Syd's soft, warm lips are pressed back against Elena's. The vague recognition that her mouth is beginning to bruise occurs to Elena, but she can't bring herself to care because the butterflies that she gets when Syd kisses her have just gathered an army to turn her stomach upside down.

"I want you," Syd mumbles against her breath.

Elena forgets everything but how badly she needs to feel Syd pressed against her. She pushes forward, and feels Syd fall backward, caught by the springy bed behind them. Elena crawls over them, straddling their powder blue pants. Earlier that night, when she could actually think about the tux her date wore beyond how much she wanted to see them out of it, Elena had been enamored by the way the color of the tux had brought out the undertones of blue in Syd's eyes.

God. Elena had lucked out.

"Babe?"

Elena hums from where she is trailing kisses across Syd's beautiful jawline. In all honesty, she had thought she would be so much more freaked out about her first time, even with Syd. That was normal, though. Right? To be a little scared. But now she wasn't really feeling like that. She just wanted to experience this, with Syd. To... to...

"Elena. Wait."

Elena stops cold, immediately retracting her hands where she had managed to pull Syd's shirt from their belt to press against the soft skin of their sides. She sits up, heart accelerating for a different reason now.

"What's wrong? What did I do? Do you want me to stop? I'm sorry, I was going too fa-"

Syd puts their hands around Elena's face, causing the panicked ramblings to trail off. Their thumb strokes the side of their girlfriend's check and despite still being concerned about screwing something up, Elena can't help but to lean into the touch. Syd has such nice hands.

"Nothing's wrong. You were...you were doing great." Syd blushes a few shades darker, "I just wanted to say, um before we, ya know..."

They clear their throat helplessly and Elena wants to kiss them again. She waits to hear what they need to say, though.

"I just wanted to say that I love you, Elena." It isn't their first time saying it aloud, but it still seems so heavy to say, so important. Syd wanted to say it again before, because this is why they were here. Because they loved Elena and Elena-

"I love you, too." Elena promised.

Yeah. Elena loved them. Syd leaned up to kiss Elena again, which did actually take more effort than it probably should have. Maybe they should start working out or something... Man, Elena was a great kisser.

Elena smiled against the other's lips. While she was confident Syd already knew, tonight Elena was going to show them how much she loved them.


End file.
